Soliciting Ideas

Uno recently turned 8 -- a milestone year in a Mormon family because she is now old enough to decide to be baptized and officially join the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Which she has decided to do. (It was touch-and-go for a while; she really liked the Presbyterians. And who can blame her? I think they're nice, too.)

Although Mormons don't baptize their babies (see above), we do like to welcome them to the world and into the congregation with a name and blessing ceremony. We had intended to have Cuatro's in November when my parents were in town, but DH had an emergency at work and we had to scrap that plan. Now, in the interests of simplicity, we intend to consolidate the events, make it a two-for-one deal!

I made lovely announcements / invitations for Cuatro's blessing-that-didn't-happen. I photographed her long white dress in golden afternoon sunlight and added the caption, "Every baby is a blessing." I would like to make another nice announcement for this go-round ... but because it's the celebration of two events and two people, I'm not sure how to do it.

Google isn't helping me brainstorm. Could you?

Stylistically, how would you design a combination child's baptism / baby blessing card? From a more practical standpoint, what information would you include? These are primarily for DH's family who have no experience with LDS traditions; this will be both their first Mormon blessing (we lived too far away when the others were born) and their first Mormon baptism. So in addition to the basics (date, time, place), do I need to explain anything else? (I'd let DH do the explaining verbally, but religion is a very sore subject and one he tries to avoid. *Sigh.*)

Oh, and also -- I'm trying to figure out the program. Would you have the baby blessing before the baptism? Or after? I have no idea. Maybe do Cuatro first in case she gets antsy...? Hmmmm.

Seriously, any advice / ideas will be hungrily devoured. :-)


~RCH~

Funny Tres

The extra visitor

We had a small nativity play at the church Christmas party last Friday. The Primary children stood in a chorus line behind Mary, Joseph, and the baby Jesus, singing carols between bits of narration. Tres, who is not yet old enough for Primary (though she will be in January), asked if she could stand and sing with the big kids and I said sure.

Except that when everybody filed in, she ran over to Mary and Joseph and the baby instead. She knelt down and gazed adoringly at the swaddled plastic doll. I crawled up to the front discreetly and whispered, "Tres! You can go stand with the big kids! They need you to sing songs with them!"

She gave me the dirtiest of dirty looks, put her finger to her lips and very loudly said:

"SSSSHHHHH!! The baby!"

And so the play continued with the tableau of Mary, Joseph, baby Jesus ... and Tres.


Things Tres said while watching the Nutcracker ballet

(And not in a whisper, either.)

• Oh, look at those cute ballerinas!
• That house isn't real, huh? They're just pretending it's a house.
• I like her shoes so much!
• [When the main girl receives the Nutcracker -- during a lull in the music, so I think the whole auditorium heard her] Oh, that's a berry nice present!
• How come her's wearing her pajamas?
• Mom, I saw a mouse's bum!
• Are those sholdiers trying to do Kung Fun Panda?
• I'm not scared of the ballet anymore! The bad mouse is just having a costume!
• How come that boy doesn't have any pants?
• That was FANTASTIC!!

Everyone's a critic

Tres and I watched the morning news together a few days ago and saw some 19th-century style carolers, all dolled up in Victorian garb and singing with gusto.

"Mom," Tres said to me, "I think I hate those guys."

Oh. Okay, then!


~RCH~

Oh wait, look! I did blog about the baby!

I haven't blogged in (let's see, how old is that baby?) almost two months. I am busier than I had been before my last post, and far more tired -- but otherwise fine. I have things I want to blog about, but I keep thinking I have to write about that baby first. It wouldn't be fair to go on talking about my everyday life without some grand introduction of the fourth little Smooch, would it?

Except that if I continue to wait for the energy to write a lovely and profound post about her arrival, I'll never blog again. So here's a picture of the wee baby at ~1 week old which you may or may not have seen already on Facebook or on my Flickr stream. (It's in B/W because she was jaundiced at the time and I couldn't get her color to look right.)



Isn't she lovely? Don't you just want to kiss her? She's a very good-natured baby; she puts up with a lot of loving abuse from her sisters (particularly from Tres, who constantly wants to hug her and hold her and rub her hands all over Cuatro's face while she sleeps for some reason). Uno and Dos are eager and actually helpful helpers. Dos is like a second mother to the baby; she holds her and feeds her and soothes her like a natural. Uno is equally sweet, though she lacks confidence in her childcare abilities.

Cuatro is, like all my babies, on the small side. She weighed 6 lbs 8 oz at birth (tied with Uno as the smallest of my four) and hasn't been gaining as quickly as my pediatrician would hope. I think she's in the neighborhood of 8-1/2 lbs now, if our home scale is accurate and I did my math right (holding her as I stood on, then weighing myself alone and subtracting the difference); the internet tells me that puts her in the 3rd percentile.

I've pretty much stopped nursing her. We didn't get off to a great start: She stayed for four days in the NICU, trying to clear my insulin from her system and regulate her own blood sugar. For a hospital supposedly supportive of breastfeeding, they were certainly eager to give her formula. Plus I think they inadvertently caused her jaundice: The doctor wanted to stretch the time between feedings (from every two to three hours to every four hours) to see how that affected her sugar levels. Her sugars did great, but -- surprise! -- she got a bit dehydrated, and spiraled down from there. Jaundiced babies sleep a lot, which means they don't eat as well, which means they get more dehydrated and more jaundiced, which means they sleep a lot, which means.... Then they gave her more formula because it supposedly counteracts jaundice better than breast milk. (Uno also had jaundice as an infant and her doctor told me the same thing. I've since read elsewhere -- in actual medical journals, not the internet, lol -- that that isn't true, but when experts disagree I guess you go with the one in front of you...? Or at least I do. I'm kind of non-confrontational that way.)

Anyway, so my supply started out less than great, and then she got thrush which made it painful to feed her. I continued to pump, but that's less effective than feeding her the regular way, diminishing my supply a little more. I was stressed out and struggling to fit her needs into our already established schedule. I often didn't have time to pump and feed her -- that takes twice as long; it's the worst of both worlds (the bother of preparing and cleaning supplies for bottle feeding vs. finding long stretches of uninterrupted time to nurse). Gradually I went from supplementing nursing with formula to supplementing her formula with breastfeeding and I realized yesterday that I haven't nursed her in days. The last time I tried, she fussed crazily, thrashing her head all around (ouch), probably frustrated because she couldn't get much out.

Cuatro has her 2-month appointment next week. I think I'll return the hospital pump I rented when I go.

I feel bad. Not because I'm feeding her formula -- it's not poisonous; Uno was a formula fed baby and she thrived (arguably better than my two breastfed babies, even) -- but because I feel like I didn't give it a committed enough try. I gave up pretty easily. With Uno I had the excuse that first-time motherhood is overwhelming, plus I had to return to work. This time my only excuse is.... Well, I don't know that I have an excuse for not fighting harder. Just that I'm tired, that I have way too many other obligations, and if an easier option is available I'll take it and say thank you. (Thank you, Enfamil company.) Still. What does it say that I refuse to make any effort for my daughter?

Oh well. Pick your battles, RCH. The best you can do is all you can do (even if it isn't great).

In any case, Cuatro doesn't seem to mind my lackluster efforts; she's a very happy, chill baby. She's just developing her social smile, which is fun. So far she's unimpressed by my fake and dramatic sneezing, but the little elephant and hippo that hang down from a bar above her bouncy seat are her BFFs and her face lights up whenever she sees them. She's recently discovered how to maneuver her hands well enough to touch them.

Oh! And the consensus about whom she resembles most -- I meant to tell you that, too! Most people say she looks like me. I find it very difficult to determine that during the infant stage; babies don't really look like themselves in the early months, IMHO. But her hair pokes up and refuses to lie (or be shellacked) flat; when she's awake, she often opens her eyes excessively wide (almost troll doll-ish, lol); she's constantly got her tongue poking out. From what I hear, that describes me as an infant. So I guess it must be true. :-)

Such a sweet little potato pie, that kid.

Well hey, look at that: I wrote a whole blog post about the baby after all! I guess now I can get on with blogging other things without feeling neglectful.

You know, in all my spare time.

Awesome. :-)


~RCH~

So today's the day

(Allegedly. They won't start the induction until evening, so who knows. And what if we run into a problem like with Tres, where they say ha ha, never mind, no induction for you today -- call back tomorrow?)

Anyway. Supposedly Cuatro will make her debut tonight. I expect her to come quickly after things get started, as each of my previous labors has been faster than the last. I have faith that things will go smoothly.

And yet.... It's hitting me what a BIG FAT LIFE CHANGER this is. Right now? Our life is what it is. We've got a routine. Tomorrow at this time? We'll have an ENTIRELY NEW PERSON. Not just new to us, but new. In the whole history of the world, there has never been a Cuatro before and it'll be my (/our) job to take care of her and fold her into our family and fit her into our previously comfortable routine. That's a big deal! And a big responsibility.

I couldn't sleep last night. I lay awake thinking, maybe this isn't so bad with her on the inside. I'm fairly used to the GD diet restrictions by now, and I'm probably healthier for it. I eat lots of fruits and vegetables, much less processed food.... Sure, I have elephantine swollen feet, but I can live with that. I don't mind fielding random strangers' questions and dumb comments about my huge belly. Maybe Cuatro should just stay there.

I have easy labors, relative to what I understand other women go through, but I still don't like the process. It's not fun. It hurts at the end. You lose all modesty. You get no rest even after all the work is done.

That's another thing I was thinking late last night: They ought to have a half-way house for recently delivered mothers! Particularly ones with other young children. After all that work -- the nine months of nausea + exhaustion + discomfort + carrying around a bowling ball and then the tough job of getting said bowling ball out -- it would be nice to be able to rest for a few days. But where are you going to do that? Not at the hospital; they'll wake you up every few hours to poke at you. Not at home; the new baby will need to be fed every two hours or so, and in my situation there are three other little people who'll continue to have needs as well. No rest anywhere. So I propose a half-way house: Leave the hospital, go to a lovely spa-like place (with highly qualified nannies and nurses to handle the bulk of the baby care 24/7) for just a day or two to recuperate and gear up for the tough battle ahead, and then go home to face the real world with renewed vigor. Genius, right?

Yeeps.

I'm excited, really. Newborn babies are sweet. They're floppy and small and nothing bad has ever happened to them; they've never done anything bad to anyone else (unless you count the GD and elephant feet). They're perfect. They're a world of possibility wrapped up in a tiny pink package. This will be a wonderful change, however challenging the transition.

I guess maybe I should pack a hospital bag.


~RCH~

Friday ramblings

"Wake up, little feller!" I hear Tres calling from the other room. She's playing with her dolls and stuffed animals. Where does she learn words like feller? LOL.

She's been obsessed with nightmares lately. She asked me repeatedly what a nightmare is, and for the first day or so I'd answer her by saying it was a bad or sad or scary dream, but nothing real -- just a story that your brain tells you when you sleep. Nothing that can actually hurt you. It became clear to me that explanation didn't work for her, though; she talks about nightmares as if they're tangible monsters: "Can a nightmare come in and get me in my nap time, too? Is he blue or green? Dooz he talk?" So today I switched tactics: I simply told her that nightmares aren't allowed in our house. They can't come in. I made a rule. This seems to be working much better so far; she seems relieved. I'm crossing my fingers that tonight's bedtime will go more smoothly than it did the last two nights!

She's three now, by the way, that Tres. I don't have any pictures of the festivities. For one thing, I've been insanely busy; DH's coworkers were very sweet to throw me a baby shower on the afternoon of Tres's birthday, so I had to really scramble to get the house clean and the family party ready after leaving that. I felt a little too harried and stressed to worry about digging out my tripod and camera! But more than that, even, I wanted to be present for her birthday. I don't take a lot of candids of my children because I don't know how to be both the photographer and the in-the-moment mom (can it be done?) and I'd rather be the mom for those milestones. But I'll need to start testing out the natural light in the parlor and dining room soon, so I'll see if Tres will let me take formal birthday portraits next week sometime.

She's such a sweet little kid. She's had to come to most of my doctor's appointments lately (three visits this week, wheee!) and she charms the doctor and nurses and office staff each time with her sly smile and precociously large and clear vocabulary. She got a haircut last week (mostly just a trim so we can still do fancy styles, but she insisted on bangs -- oy) and one of the nurses complimented her on it. "Fank you berry much!" Tres said. "And I like your pretty shoes." Then, "Could I have some Smarties, please? I like to be smart!" How could anybody resist that 26-lb sweet potato? She racks up the Smarties left and right at those appointments, ahtellyouwhut.

And the appointments. *SIGH!* So many doctor visits, so much time wasted on everybody's part! I understand that with three complicating factors (old lady; clotting disorder; gestational diabetes) they need to manage their legal risk by seeing and documenting my progress thoroughly. But I'm more than the sum of those three facts, and when you look at me as an individual, and this pregnancy as an individual pregnancy, it's clear that everything is FINE. Each of the growth ultrasounds has been normal. I've never had an iffy non-stress test. My blood sugar is well controlled by diet. I have no complaints, no bleeding, no clotting, no errant contractions (not even those faker-baker Braxton Hicks!), no nothing. So why all the continued fuss?

I had hoped to set an official induction date at today's appointment -- I'm 36 weeks today, just three weeks away from the vague time frame we had previously discussed -- but my OB wasn't in (her father died; so sad) and the nurses just handled the testing and sent me home. I'm so, so tired of being pregnant. Still, as slowly as each uncomfortable individual moment passes, the days seem to fly by anyway. Three weeks will be over before I know it!

How will I handle four children? Seriously! Four! What have I gotten myself into?

At least wee babies are cute. I have lots of tiny little outfits and itty bitty socks and a large inflatable duck to use as a baby bath when Cuatro gets here. These things excite me, lol.

*SIGH.*

Three weeks-ish. Yeah.


~RCH~

Some Things

Things I think are dumb about OB care

1. Gestational diabetes. Obviously I'm bitter, lol, but really: You make a woman drink an entire soda bottle full of nothing but sugar and orange food coloring in under five minutes; what do you expect her glucose levels to do? Oh, what, they're high? After chugging a bottle of pure sugar? Are you serious? AMAZING.

And the symptoms of high blood sugar: Fatigue. Irritability. Frequent urination. Uh.... Sounds like a fairly normal pregnancy to me! :-P I feel no better and no worse for keeping my glucose levels under control (which I have been doing quite well with diet, thank you very much). I'm still worn out; the general discomforts of this huge belly still make me irritable; I still have a baby using my bladder as her personal trampoline. Explain THAT, gestational diabetes!

(Disclaimer: I know GD is true; I know there is a problem with the way my body reacts to sugar. Nobody needs to feel compelled to educate me on the subject. Just let me have my little rant please.)

2. Non-stress tests. I'm almost to the point at which my OB and Maternal / Fetal specialist want me to do twice weekly non-stress testing (at which they will strap monitors to my belly for a given period of time to make sure the kid's heart is still beating or something). Never mind that I have to drive 90 minutes each way to the doctor because our small hospital doesn't have the equipment. Leaving that annoyance completely out of the question -- what's the point? In the absence of some reason to worry that the heart might not be beating (say, if I hadn't felt any of her usual movement or if I'd started to bleed or been in a car accident or some other traumatic event), what are biweekly NSTs supposed to accomplish? Heaven forbid, I could have a normal NST on a Tuesday and an unexplained still birth on Wednesday. (Knock on wood that I won't.) They're not predictive or preventative of anything. The only point I can think of is to reassure hypothetical lawyers.

But enough of the grouchy things.


Things I love about my new house



1. The curb appeal. I've never lived in a house so charming from the outside! It's got classic lines, a lovely columned front porch with a huge old-timey lantern hanging from the portico, lots of large trees, and sits on one of the few remaining brick streets in town. It makes me smile every time I come home to it.

2. The natural light. Every room has windows, and every window is GINORMOUS. We're talking ~8 feet tall (I'm guessing; my measuring tape collapses if I try to extend it to the top of the window frames), 5+ feet wide.... The formal parlor and dining room both have large bay windows (with southern and western exposures, respectively). I've mostly kept the shutters closed so the house doesn't get too hot, but as fall arrives and things get more temperate I'm going to start experimenting with the light for portraits. I have to get ready to document Cuatro's first everything, after all (or at least for those few months before she's mobile and runs away from my camera like the other girls do)!

3. Having two bathrooms again. Ahhhh! Definitely a plus in a family with small children (with their attendant small bladders and short tempers) and a pregnant lady. ;-)

4. Having a dish washer again! I couldn't keep up with dishes for five people multiplied by three meals a day (plus snacks!) (plus cooking pots and pans!) when I had to wash them by hand in our little rental house -- dishes were my nemesis. My sink was always full of dirties; my counter and stove were always full of drying things. But now? A load or two a day in the handy-dandy dishwasher, and it's so much easier to keep the kitchen looking tidy! Hooray for modern conveniences! (Though funny that I had to move into a 108-year-old house to have them again....)

5. Historic details. I love the molding throughout the house. I love the high ceilings. I love the random carving on the banister. I love the pocket doors. I love the dining room chandelier -- which, the Realtor informed us, is original to the house (1902); it used to be a gas lamp, she said, but the homeowners converted it to electricity around the '20s (and if we ever want to sell it, call her first! Though why would we want to?).



6. Storage. There are spaces everywhere! For everything! From storage bench window seats tucked in cozy nooks at the end of hallways to good sized closets to a mudroom and pantry and (slightly creepy, low-ceilinged) basement with shelves and space galore...! Not to mention the garage and separate storage shed outside. Score.

7. Stairs. That's an odd thing to love in this age of open floor plans, but it's nice to have a clean division of public space (living room, parlor, kitchen, etc., downstairs) and personal space (bedrooms, full bath upstairs). Plus it offers me daily opportunities for exercise, lol.

8. Proximity to the library. Our new house is about two blocks from our town's very nice public library -- walking distance! We rarely went there before, but now I've got all three girls signed up for story hours (Tuesday afternoons for Uno and Dos; Wednesday mornings for Tres) and we plan to spend much more time there.


Things DH found today while working to clear out the overgrown yard

1. A turtle (whom the girls have christened Alex; they hope he will stick around and be our pet)



2. An old fashioned iron



3. A sun face paving stone




Things Uno said about DH's findings

1. "Holy crap!"

2. "Can you believe these amazing artifacts? They don't make this stuff anymore. I bet it's clear from the 1960s!"

3. "What if there are more artifacts underneath the house? And people could come from all over and pay to see them? And there would be reporters and photographers with flashes and we could be famous!"


Things I want to eat immediately after Cuatro gets here, if it's true that GD disappears at delivery (which it had better or I might punch somebody)

1. Pizza Hut pan pizza -- any flavor will do (though I like tomato and mushroom quite a lot) as long as it has that thick golden brown buttery delicious crust!

2. A small strawberry malt.


Hmmmm. I guess that's all for now. :-)


~RCH~

Conversation with Tres

TRES: Mommy, I want pickles!

RCH: Just a minute, let me finish this....

TRES: Meow, meow, I'm a cat! I need pickles!

RCH: Cats don't eat pickles.

TRES: What do they eat?

RCH: Well ... mice, for one thing. Can I get you a mouse to eat?

TRES: [Horrified look; mouth agape]

~ Thoughtful Pause ~

TRES: Woof, woof! I'm a doggy!


~RCH~