Movin' on up to the East side

...to a deluxe apartment in the sky -- aka DH's parents' house. :-P

So here's the story, for those who don't know it already: As one of only two doctors in our rural county (and the only one who works full time hours), DH has been on the fast track to burn out here. His contract with the hospital expires this month. He has been offered a job as the ER Director of his hometown hospital and we have decided to take it. He will work through the end of July, and then in August we will pack up and head to Illinois, where we will move in with his parents until we get settled (I love them, but hopefully that won't be too long; I am a girl who values her independence).

We thought about this decision long and hard -- years, even. DH cornered me in the kitchen one afternoon during his parents' first visit out here; he said he thought we ought to consider going back to the Midwest. He said he felt like we needed to be closer to his family. I burst into tears at the idea, still exhausted from our move out of West Texas. He would get recruitment letters every day from all over the country; I would shred them immediately before he saw the mail. The time wasn't right. I wasn't ready. A good opportunity hadn't presented itself yet (or, um, survived the Premium Series 11-page crosscut shredder).

DH's parents went home; we wrote off his impression as just a brief sentimental moment. But the idea didn't completely leave him (or me). He heard through the grapevine that the hospital back home was making changes -- a new CEO had been hired; they were thinking of beginning a hospitalist program and revamping the ER. In previous years, there had been no job openings in his hometown, or there had been but they weren't a good fit. Now things were different. Last summer when we visited his family, he and I took an afternoon to informally meet with the new CEO. It went well. I felt good about it. DH felt good about it. He was told he had a job if we wanted it; we said we'd consider all the options and let them know.

Meanwhile, changes were happening in our rural town, as well: Rather than recruiting new blood to help ease the workload, the hospital bought out the practice of the other doctor already here -- one who is nearing retirement age and who works less than full-time hours. The change didn't directly affect DH -- his over-full hours remained the same as when the other doctor ran his own private practice -- but the expense incurred by paying for the other doctor, his staff, and his facilities meant that the (already poor) hospital lacked the funds to hire some hypothetical energetic young doctor to work with DH. Our county has a federal designation of Medically Underserved; it looked like it would stay that way indefinitely (and, for some reason I can't figure out, deliberately).

In considering the options, personally, I felt peace about either one. Stay or go, life would continue on as it always has for me and the girls. They aren't yet old enough to have deeply emotionally invested friendships; my life revolves around their care; the things we do could be done here or in IL, no big whoop. Of course, going would mean I wouldn't be able to see my family or lifelong friend Beckle as much anymore -- definitely a negative for me. On the other hand, we've had three glorious years living within 90 minutes of my side; DH's family has never had that chance. Maybe it's their turn now. Maybe it's time for the girls get to know their other grandparents (and aunt and cousin).

And, of course, there is the matter of their health. DH's parents are slightly older than mine, and have lifelong habits that have aged them further. MIL has been hospitalized three times in the last year or so with seizures. I'm surprised that FIL hasn't had a major health crisis yet -- I guess his stubborn will is good for something; it's kept disaster at bay for now. DH has only one sibling, a younger sister, and while she lives near their parents, she's a single mom trying to work and finish her education and carve out a life for herself. It did feel like we were needed there.

DH's health, too: He's running himself ragged here. He cannot keep up this pace indefinitely.

And so after months of weighing the pros and cons of each decision, months of pondering and prayer, we decided: We're moving on. We've loved it here, but it's time to begin a new adventure elsewhere.

News spreads quickly in a town of 2,000 people, and the reaction has been mixed. I can't go anywhere -- the grocery store, the swimming pool, the gas station, the movie rental / concrete store -- without being accosted by someone who wants to ask about our plans. Many are supportive -- they feel sad to see us go, but understand we need to do what's best for our family. Some relentlessly interrogate me: Why are you leaving? Is it because you want more money? Who's going to take his place? Some conversations are downright awkward, like when the grocery store checkout boy told me that his dad was furious about our decision. I smiled sheepishly and offered a wan sorry. "No," the kid said. "I mean he's really mad. He was like, 'Dammit! Just when we get a decent doctor in this town the SOB--' Not happy at all." Uh.... Yeah. It sucks. I'm sorry. What do you want me to say?

It's hard not to feel like we're leaving the town in the lurch. DH went out of his way during his tenure to recruit residents from regional programs to cover the ER, and one of them looks like a good candidate to take DH's place when he finishes his residency next year. But in the meantime...? DH has one full-time and one part-time PA who, I assume, will continue to work at the clinic -- but the town (really, the entire county) will be down to only one doctor for a while. How much blame goes to us, for not renewing DH's contract (within our right to do, and done for legitimate reasons), and how much to the hospital for choosing to fund the other doctor's retirement rather than invest in the future viability of the hospital's own clinic? *Sigh.* I am convinced that we are doing the right thing, but no amount of passing the buck -- even when the buck rightly belongs with someone else! -- makes it easier to see the community in need. DH, certainly, feels heavily the responsibility to his patients, which is why he has offered to work through July (his contract ends at the end of this month) to set things in order and tie up loose ends with as many patients as he can.

So. Here we are: Preparing to begin again somewhere else -- maybe this time to plant roots? Eh, who knows, lol. I am excited about the adventures change always brings, excited to be closer to another lifelong friend, K2, and within plausible driving distance of my sister and her family in Atlanta. It'll be fun to look for a new house -- DH's hometown has lots of nice Victorians and antebellum looking places (just pray with me that our house here will sell quickly!).

Onward and upward, I guess!


~RCH~