DH and I have very different organizational styles: He likes things neatly filed away and out of sight; I feel most productive when I have stacks and piles out in front of me. My way looks messy, I admit, but I promise there is order and purpose in the chaos.
DH's anxiety flares up when he sees the state of my desk. I feel great anxiety any time he threatens to "clean it up" for me, as he did on Sunday.
The two older girls came into the room at the height of our discussion about organizing the desk. "Stop fighting!" the very sensitive Uno said. Now, we weren't fighting (I wouldn't have been talking to him at all if we were, lol, because I'm so mature like that); we just happen to enjoy banter and spirited debate especially where our views differ (and frankly, even when we agree). That's pretty much always been our dynamic.
I explained to her that we weren't fighting, we were just hashing out our different ways of doing things. "I like to organize things into piles," I told her, "and Daddy likes to put them away in a drawer. Dad wanted to organize all this stuff his way -- but I'm the one who uses the office most and needs all these papers, so if he put them away I wouldn't know where to find anything."
See? Makes perfect sense. I win. Case closed.
"Well," DH said. "All Mommy has to do is let me alphabetize it, and then she can find anything she needs."
I balked, my anxiety flaring up again. Alphabetizing won't help if he's the one doing it! Let's consider: Would he put the car insurance policy under Auto? Car? Insurance? Would our largest monthly bill be under M for Mortgage or H for House Payment? Ack. No, no, no. He is not to touch my piles. I know where everything is and he'd better not touch anything, I told him.
"Ah, come on. Why won't you let Daddy do it?" Uno asked. "Don't you know your whole alphabet?"
DH thought that was hilarious, and in a very serious tone asked Uno if she would begin the important job of helping me learn my ABCs. They high-fived on that while Dos (who very sweetly took my side) and I rolled our eyes and laughed with them.
Silly family.
My desk, in case you wondered, is still a lovely mess of organized chaos on Wednesday. DH vows that he will live to fight another day! ;-)
The thing is, I know that DH isn't wrong in wanting to clear off the desk. I believe he would concede that I'm not wrong, either, in wanting to know that every scrap of paper is where I put it. We just have different ways of accomplishing our organizational goals -- which brings us (clumsily) to the US Presidential election, decided last night in the favor of Barack Obama.
I know that there are plenty of people in my community and in my own family who feel not only disappointed in the election results, but anxious. They may be the proverbial filers to my piling tendencies, and the thought of having the nation's affairs put in order by someone who does things so much differently makes them nervous. I totally get that. But I hope they also realize that, while he sees things from another point of view, Pres. Elect Obama has just as much love for this country as his opponent does and that, like Sen. McCain, he only wants the best for the nation and its citizens.
At some point my piles are going to outgrow the available space on the top of my desk; at some point I am going to have to compromise with DH and file the old papers away. The thought makes me a little queasy -- it feels wrong and unnatural, lol! -- but eventually I'll have to buck up and do it. I think I'll feel far less uneasy if DH and I work together to file things than if, say, he surprised me with a clean desk one day when I'd been out grocery shopping (ooooh, that would be bad).
The same thing goes for the country: The Democrats won't be able to deliver on all their promises without a little compromise and concession; the Republicans, again the minority, certainly won't. And in either case, whether you identify with the party of the Filers or with the Pilers, I think that anxiety you feel over the other will lessen if you remain involved in the process. That's not to say you have to run for office, yourself, but keep aware of current events; write to your elected representatives about issues you care about, locally and nationally; don't vote just once every four years, but for all the little local elections, as well.
We live in an amazing country. I feel like we're in good hands -- and not just because my preferred candidate won the presidency, but because I know that my more conservative friends and family are intelligent, informed, and passionate about politics and the direction our country is headed. We may have different ways of accomplishing our goal of a stronger, better America, but in the end we do have the same goal; because of that, I'd say our future looks pretty bright.
(And hey, DH.... Pssssst! Don't touch my piles.)
~RCH~
6 years ago
4 comments:
I'm also a piler! But BigScottishJerk.com does not feel the need to organize. This is good news for me. Except for the times he files things in the garbage...accidentally.
And I love your metaphor for the election. Well said. I am trying my hardest to be kind to the McCain camp. I know that man is a war hero and I know he loves this country too. But I don't think he's the right man for the job right now. I have great faith in our President elect. :)
You're still the most eloquent girl I know! :)
word verification: is "abifiery"...does that seem apropos to you?
hear hear! I, too, am a piler. {in both senses}
Some people are legitimately concerned considering the past company Obama has kept. You know, the kind that apparently sit around and plot what kind of practical realities would be necessary to eliminate 25 million people (i.e., roughly 4 times the holocaust). See, e.g., Clayton Cramer and Confederate Yankee.
Having just finished reading Armando Valladres memoir, Against All Hope, I must admit Obama's choice of Chicago associates gives me pause. Could it ever happen here? "Of course not, that was Cuba." I pray it couldn't but it is naive to think it could never happen here. (Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty, right?) If it ever were to, this would be a prescient commentary on yesterday.
There are two Obamas. The one based on his actions (who in the Chicago machine he sought out to help advance his career, his vote against the Illinois Born Alive Infant Protection Act, union card check elections, etc.) and the Obama of his campaign where he moved from the far left to center-left and portrayed himself as being able to compromise and bridge and heal and all that.
If he governs as he says he will, rather than what his actual past actions would indicate he will be a good president. Probably what will save him is his cold-blooded political calculating/skill and instinct. He can't go too crazy if he wants to keep congress in the Democrats control in 2010 (witness Clinton's overreaching in 1992 that led to the Republican revolution in 1994). He obviously wants to be able to stand for re-election in 2012.
Personally (as I noted on my blog), I voted for three Republicans, three Democrats and two third-party candidates yesterday. I was on the winning side in three of the eight votes. (Though on our states five constitutional amendments, with four yes & one no, I was 5/5.)
I'm glad Obama won. The Republicans deserves to be in the wilderness after eight years of Bush. They need to learn that being the Big Government-lite party doesn't work. If the country wants Big Government they might as well get the real deal rather than the knock off version.
McCain would not have been a good conservative president during an economic downturn. (Romney was the only primary candidate of either party to have any economic expertise.) So, from a conservative perspective (which is not the same as a Republican perspective) best to let the Democrats run the whole show. Then they can't blame the Republicans. (Though for some reason being in control of both houses for the past two years, and having a lower approval rating than GWB, the Democrats weren't able to get much of anything done; hopefully they'll be able to with Obama who'll certainly use his veto pen even less than Bush has [and he hardly ever has].)
People seem to forget that it isn't the President's job to draft legislation. It's properly the role of Congress. All he can do is choose to sign a bill duly passed by Congress or veto it.
It's also amazing how many people think "the market" (discrete interactions between millions of buyers and sellers world wide) somehow dropped "because" of anxiety over Obama. Markets are not anthropomorphic. It's silly to say "the market went up because of X" or "the market went down because of Y".
The only possible bright spot of a McCain win would have been Palin. But that would have been outweighed by the negatives of McCain himself as executive. Also it would definitely not have outweighed the promised rioting / blood-in-the-streets that an Obama loss was prophesied to bring. McCain's supporters will not riot (though some of them were shamefully unclassy enough to boo during McCain's gracious concession speech).
Yesterday was an historic occasion. Obama is our President-Elect and we are Americans first. I'm happy with the outcome and look forward to something other than the non-stop campaigning of the past two years. I hope the race for 2012 won't start for at least two more years. Plus it will be interesting to see how long the media, after having campaigned so hard for him, will keep fawning over him. Some places not even one day.
Interesting times we live in, that's for sure!
We are also pilers, which are usually only put away when the home teachers are coming over or something. Then they usually become a few big piles in our bedroom closet.
I really do hope you are right about Obama. I hope my opinions of him are proven wrong. There are some things he believes in that I am the complete opposite on. Although the same could have been said about McCain on a few things as well. That is what was probably most frustrating to me.
I also agree that we should take an active role in poltics at the local level. You shouldn't expect people to clean up your neighborhood if your backyard is a complete mess.
Post a Comment