I'm a little nervous

Uno is set to give her very first talk in Primary tomorrow. She's been dying to use the microphone, so last week (her first week of Primary, by the way) when they asked for volunteers she rather insistently asked to be the one.

She's going to tell a story from the Book of Mormon, the brother of Jared asking God to touch some stones to give light to their boats. It's supposed to go something like this:

The brother of Jared needed light for his boat, but he didn't know what to do. He prayed to Heavenly Father and said, "Heavenly Father, please help us get light for our boat." Heavenly Father told him to think of an idea and ask again. So he thought about it like this: "Hmmmmmm." And then he had an idea. He prayed again. "Heavenly Father, I know that if you touch these rocks with your finger, they will get bright and shiny and we will have light for our boat." Because he had faith, Heavenly Father touched the rocks with His finger and their boat wasn't dark. We should have faith, too. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Plus she has a visual aide: Two rocks that we spray painted first with chrome and then with a light coat of pearlescent glitter paint.

We've been practicing often these last two days. Sometimes she gets the story more or less right. More often, though, it comes out something like this:

Once upon a time the villagers lived in a cave with dark boats so Jesus came and He liked rocks. And He said, "Hmmmmmm." And Jesus said a prayer about rocks with His finger [holds up visual aide]. Oh, and Jesus-- I mean, the villagers were in their cave with a space ship [makes space ship noise] so they could fight the bad guys. Kapow! Hiya! And all the bad guys drove away in their cars because they were scared about the rocks from Jesus. The end.

She is rambly and random and hilarious and super confident. Which makes me nervous. I would love for her to tell a comprehensible version of the story, because it will be adorable if she does. I don't really mind her telling a rambly version (well maybe I sort of do), because she's a kid and this is her first try. But I worry that -- whatever happens -- people will laugh and her confidence will be shattered. I don't think anyone, even the older kids, would be mean-spirited about it, but still. Some things are simply too cute / silly / odd (take your pick) for polite smiles!

I was an awkward, insecure kid. I'm an insecure mom in a lot of ways. Uno is not like me -- she is social and self-assured and endlessly outgoing. But these qualities of hers have never really been tested. She spends her days with me and her sister; she doesn't go to preschool or dance class or on play dates. Church is her only social outlet, and this will be her first "performance" in that or any other venue. I want her to be well received. I worry that if she's not, it will hurt her, or change those great qualities of hers that are so different from any of mine.

I'm nervous, nervous, nervous. I don't want her to be -- and I hope she doesn't sense that I am -- but geez, I wish this were over already.


~RCH~

My child is a freaking genius

Somehow, somewhere -- not from me, sadly -- my precocious and adorable not-quite-four-year-old daughter has learned to spell. In cleaning up her mess of toys and papers this evening, I found this drawing:



I had no idea she could do that! Is she amazing or is she amazing? :-D


~RCH~

Kick the bells of holly folly!

Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la!

That song of Uno's has been stuck in my head for the last week or so. Crazy.

We had a good Christmas. Despite having stayed awake until the wee hours of the morning as an elf (constructing the much-loved Dora Talking Kitchen, mostly, with a pinch of "oh crap, where did I put the stocking stuffers?" thrown in for good measure), I still woke up before the girls did. When they finally did get up, though, they were thrilled to see their Santa gifts and unwrap all the rest. I had a blast watching them. Christmas is way more fun as a grownup, I think.

There's more I meant to write about our Christmas extravaganza, but my brain is not working right now. :-P Sorry. I'm very tired, so this will have to do.

Christmas was fun. Can't wait to kick those bells of holly folly again next year.


~RCH~

A new rule

Uno is going crazy. Every day she asks me, "Is it Christmas Day yet?" And I have to tell her, "No, but it's Christmas Season so we can still enjoy all the lights and excitement!"

"STOP TALKING ABOUT CHRISTMAS SEASON!" she exploded at me recently. "I WANT CHRISTMAS DAY!"

Well last night as we were putting her to bed, she let me know that she'd been talking to the Man in Charge: "Jesus told me that we can open one present in Christmas Season and we don't have to wait for the day."

"Oh really?" I said.

"Yes. Really. One present in Christmas Season. It's the new rule."

We haven't opened one yet, but the very sweetest thing about this new rule of Uno's is that she has no interest in opening any of her own gifts (well, let me rephrase -- she has plenty of interest in her own, but none of this urgency). The One Present she wants opened is the one she picked out for her dad. She's desperate to see the excitement on his face when he opens what she just KNOWS he's going to love and treasure forever.

Even she knows that it's more fun to give than to receive. :-)


~RCH~

A wonderful surprise

I had the best visit yesterday with my seester and her new husband, who drove up to Christmastown on a whim to see us!

I was in the midst of brooding over our recent rough time -- kids with rotavirus, a Thanksgiving day near-amputation of DH's thumb (maybe not quite as dramatic as that, lol, but still) and then, of course, the loss -- when I thought I heard the doorbell. I went upstairs to find the two of them on my front porch, bearing gifts of Dr. Pepper and chocolate.

It was so good to see them. I had the most wonderful time. It was exactly what I needed. :-)


~RCH~

Nevermind

Turns out the rumors of a July baby were unfounded. Well, founded originally but not so much anymore.... It came as a bit of a shock. I thought I was imperviously fertile. Guess not.

At least now we won't have to buy a minivan or some other behemoth vehichle to accommodate three carseats. I won't have to figure out how to hold more children than I have hands. I can worry about my waistline again -- figure out some exercise that I'll actually do -- rather than watch helplessly as it grows without my consent. We can take a summer vacation.

I had my blood drawn today to compare to hormone levels from a blood draw on Saturday; the hCG is supposed to decrease on its own, but if it doesn't, I'll have to go in for what sounds like a fairly unpleasant procedure. The nurse poked and wiggled the needle around in my arms and hand four times before she gave up and let DH try; he got it right in one go.

"I hope your blood will feel better," Uno told me as we drove home. I've tried to explain to her what's going on because, as a precocious almost-four-year-old, she knows that babies come in tummies. She would remember that we told her I had one in mine that would come out in the summer, and she'd be concerned if it never did. I'm sure Dos has long forgotten the "you're going to be a big sister!" conversation, but Uno keeps track of these things. So I told her that Daddy was going to check my blood at his office, and if it was bad then that meant the baby wasn't in my tummy anymore. That made enough sense to her that she offered condolence instead of more questions.

I'm not entirely sure how I'm supposed to feel about all this. I am disappointed, absolutely. And I can't let go of the need to blame myself: If I'd cut out the Diet Dr. Pepper habit; if I'd tried to eat more nutritiously; if I hadn't forgotten to take my prenatals so often; if I'd been a little more enthusiastic about the possibility of Numero Tres before the big pee stick reveal, could this have been avoided? But I don't feel like I'm mourning. Should I? Am I heartless if I don't? Will it come later?

I feel like I've lost something I never had. Which is its own kind of sadness, I guess.


~RCH~

The official wish list(s)

I so appreciate having other people's wish lists to work from when I'm trying to come up with a decent gift. For those of you who have Amazon wish lists, thank you! For those of you who have Amazon wish lists that haven't been updated in three years, add some kind of comment to your list to let people know you still want that stuff (or delete it if you don't and add new stuff). For those of you who have online wish lists somewhere else, make sure you let people know where!

The family person whose name we have has already given me a hand-written list (which I accidentally left at mom's, but I still remember the gist). Thank you. Still. It never hurts to have one online for future occasions.

In that spirit, you can find my wish lists either on Amazon.com or on ListIdeas.com using my email address. (If you don't know me well enough to have my email address, you shouldn't buy me any presents, lol.)

The lists are merely a guideline, of course; they're not a registry of Christmas Needs. The girls will be thrilled with anything that comes in a box with wrapping paper on it (or hey, even without!) and DH and I don't need anything at all. But if you wanted to be generous and wondered what sorts of toys or tchotchkes the girls are into these days, without having the benefit of listening to them sing the Dora the Explorer song all day every day, then this might point you in the right direction.

Thank you, and Ho-Ho-Ho! :-)


~RCH~