The difference between them

When my toddler was born, she seemed to me like an old soul. I believe that we exist before we are born physically, that the essence and intelligence of our spirits are eternal, so in some sense we're all old souls -- but it was more than that with my toddler. She seemed wise. Her lack of language simply kept her from expressing things we, her parents, were too primitive to understand.

This persistent belief colored the way I looked at her: I often wondered why she would behave a certain way -- cry in church for instance, lol -- when she, of all people, knew better. I'd watch in bewildered awe, and sometimes impatience, as she played with her toes -- doesn't she know about toes already? -- and have to remind myself that while her spirit may be old, this body stuff was still a whole new ballgame for her.

I felt differently about the baby from the start. She seemed completely new, blank and empty as the West Texas sky, just waiting for experience to find and fill her.

I don't know why I sense that difference between them, or if there's even anything to it. I certainly don't mean to imply that the baby is less intelligent, or the toddler less pure.... I guess these perceptions say more about me as a parent than it says about either of them.


~RCH~