I haven't blogged in (let's see, how old is that baby?) almost two months. I am busier than I had been before my last post, and far more tired -- but otherwise fine. I have things I want to blog about, but I keep thinking I have to write about that baby first. It wouldn't be fair to go on talking about my everyday life without some grand introduction of the fourth little Smooch, would it?
Except that if I continue to wait for the energy to write a lovely and profound post about her arrival, I'll never blog again. So here's a picture of the wee baby at ~1 week old which you may or may not have seen already on Facebook or on my
Flickr stream. (It's in B/W because she was jaundiced at the time and I couldn't get her color to look right.)
Isn't she lovely? Don't you just want to kiss her? She's a very good-natured baby; she puts up with a lot of loving abuse from her sisters (particularly from Tres, who constantly wants to hug her and hold her and rub her hands all over Cuatro's face while she sleeps for some reason). Uno and Dos are eager and actually
helpful helpers. Dos is like a second mother to the baby; she holds her and feeds her and soothes her like a natural. Uno is equally sweet, though she lacks confidence in her childcare abilities.
Cuatro is, like all my babies, on the small side. She weighed 6 lbs 8 oz at birth (tied with Uno as the smallest of my four) and hasn't been gaining as quickly as my pediatrician would hope. I think she's in the neighborhood of 8-1/2 lbs now, if our home scale is accurate and I did my math right (holding her as I stood on, then weighing myself alone and subtracting the difference); the internet tells me that puts her in the 3rd percentile.
I've pretty much stopped nursing her. We didn't get off to a great start: She stayed for four days in the NICU, trying to clear my insulin from her system and regulate her own blood sugar. For a hospital supposedly supportive of breastfeeding, they were certainly eager to give her formula. Plus I think they inadvertently caused her jaundice: The doctor wanted to stretch the time between feedings (from every two to three hours to every four hours) to see how that affected her sugar levels. Her sugars did great, but -- surprise! -- she got a bit dehydrated, and spiraled down from there. Jaundiced babies sleep a lot, which means they don't eat as well, which means they get more dehydrated and more jaundiced, which means they sleep a lot, which means.... Then they gave her more formula because it supposedly counteracts jaundice better than breast milk. (Uno also had jaundice as an infant and her doctor told me the same thing. I've since read elsewhere -- in actual medical journals, not the internet, lol -- that that isn't true, but when experts disagree I guess you go with the one in front of you...? Or at least I do. I'm kind of non-confrontational that way.)
Anyway, so my supply started out less than great, and then she got thrush which made it painful to feed her. I continued to pump, but that's less effective than feeding her the regular way, diminishing my supply a little more. I was stressed out and struggling to fit her needs into our already established schedule. I often didn't have time to pump and feed her -- that takes twice as long; it's the worst of both worlds (the bother of preparing and cleaning supplies for bottle feeding vs. finding long stretches of uninterrupted time to nurse). Gradually I went from supplementing nursing with formula to supplementing her formula with breastfeeding and I realized yesterday that I haven't nursed her in days. The last time I tried, she fussed crazily, thrashing her head all around (ouch), probably frustrated because she couldn't get much out.
Cuatro has her 2-month appointment next week. I think I'll return the hospital pump I rented when I go.
I feel bad. Not because I'm feeding her formula -- it's not poisonous; Uno was a formula fed baby and she thrived (arguably better than my two breastfed babies, even) -- but because I feel like I didn't give it a committed enough try. I gave up pretty easily. With Uno I had the excuse that first-time motherhood is overwhelming, plus I had to return to work. This time my only excuse is.... Well, I don't know that I have an excuse for not fighting harder. Just that I'm tired, that I have way too many other obligations, and if an easier option is available I'll take it and say thank you. (Thank you, Enfamil company.) Still. What does it say that I refuse to make any effort for my daughter?
Oh well. Pick your battles, RCH. The best you can do is all you can do (even if it isn't great).
In any case, Cuatro doesn't seem to mind my lackluster efforts; she's a very happy, chill baby. She's just developing her social smile, which is fun. So far she's unimpressed by my fake and dramatic sneezing, but the little elephant and hippo that hang down from a bar above her bouncy seat are her BFFs and her face lights up whenever she sees them. She's recently discovered how to maneuver her hands well enough to touch them.
Oh! And the consensus about whom she resembles most -- I meant to tell you that, too! Most people say she looks like me. I find it very difficult to determine that during the infant stage; babies don't really look like themselves in the early months, IMHO. But her hair pokes up and refuses to lie (or be shellacked) flat; when she's awake, she often opens her eyes excessively wide (almost troll doll-ish, lol); she's constantly got her tongue poking out. From what I hear, that describes me as an infant. So I guess it must be true. :-)
Such a sweet little potato pie, that kid.
Well hey, look at that: I wrote a whole blog post about the baby after all! I guess now I can get on with blogging other things without feeling neglectful.
You know, in all my spare time.
Awesome. :-)
~RCH~
