Darn those parents who give Primary talks for their kids.
Uno gave her first talk in church on only her second week in Primary. She didn't know how it worked; she just knew she wanted to talk in the microphone. And she did it wonderfully! Full of confidence and aplomb! But now she's a little older (well, by a month or two), a little wiser to the ways of the Primary world. She's been corrupted by the practices of her peers and it just kills me.
She gave her second talk last Sunday. Sort of. Before her turn, a parent came up to help her daughter give a scripture. A member of the Primary presidency helped a boy say the prayer. Another parent whispered her daughter's talk in her ear. And then came Uno.
She stepped up to the microphone, beautifully colored pictures in hand to illustrate her stories and remind her of what to say. DH and I sat in the back with Dos (whom Uno had invited from the nursery just for this special occasion), big expectant grins on our faces. She began:
"Jesus met a woman...."
And then she froze. Nobody was whispering in her ear; how could she possibly go on? She turned around to see if the Primary ladies could help her. "Sorry, I don't know the story!" the president said. DH and I exchanged panicked looks from the back.
It is our family policy that children learn and give their own talks. They will not be whispered to, and when they're older they will not read their talks from a piece of paper. The whole point is to gain confidence with public speaking, and to be adorable. It is not adorable to hear a grownup give a child's talk. We won't do that in our family. Sorry.
Still, the panic.
"Mom? Dad?" asked the Primary ladies, obviously expecting us to intervene.
"You can do it!" I stage whispered to Uno with a thumbs up sign. "Just look at the pictures and remember the stories we talked about!"
She stood there, saying nothing.
DH and I exchanged looks again, and he rose from his seat to go stand behind her at the podium. But he didn't whisper the talk to her. Instead, he whispered prompts: "Who do you see in that picture? Do you remember why the woman is sad? What did Jesus say?"
Uno buried her head in her chest and said nothing. The two of them stood at the podium for what seemed like an eternity, DH prompting but not telling her what to say, Uno refusing to say anything at all.
Finally the Primary president gently shooed them away from the podium and announced that Uno could give the talk later if she felt like it (she never did).
I didn't know how to handle the next part: consoling my embarrassed child. She's not shy; she knew the material (she'd recited it perfectly that morning before church!); her failure was not due to forces beyond her control. I wouldn't have been so disappointed if I knew she had tried her best, even with the same result, but she didn't try her best -- she dug in her stubborn heels about wanting to be like everyone else and have her mom or dad do the talk. But what do you say to a four year old?
Mostly I just hugged her, and let her come with me to Relief Society until she felt better. I told her I was disappointed that I didn't get to hear her give her talk from the microphone, and I reminded her about last time when she did so well that I couldn't stop smiling all day. We didn't have ice cream after church, which would have been the Great Job! treat.
*Sigh.*
I don't know what will happen next time. I wonder if she'll volunteer again. I wonder if she's learned her lesson about doing it herself, or if she's only been traumatized at the perceived lack of support from her mean old parents. Should we have handled the situation differently?
It was really disappointing to me because I know her performance is not at all representative of her. Uno is smart; she's articulate; she's brave and outgoing. She can do this. I just wish she had.
~RCH~
5 years ago
